Ph.D= Positivly Holding it Down!

Truth is for many years during my childhood I never pictured myself in college.

Most of the reason for this was because of the negative messages I would receive about college as an undocumented brown girl.  It was not until I met one of my first mentors Dr. Christina Marin then a Ph.D student at Arizona State University, that I learned that Ph.D’s and college was were not only for white people.

Being told that people like me only belong at community colleges and that only people with papers were allowed at the universities gave me the coraje (courage) to fight.  Now, I am thankful for all my trials, because that coraje has taken me to many beautiful and unbelievable places in my 24 years of life.

Currently, I am taking steps towards a doctoral degree…Since Dr. Marin went to my quinceañera, I have met incredible women and men who are transforming our society in an academic and community rooted level. I want to do both, I want to be an Academic, community centered, ARTivist. Working from a spiritual, personal, political, and cultural place within me. Wherever I go I carry in my heart and honor the stories of my Arizona community.

So to give you all an update on what is happening:

I have applied to various programs in Ethnic Studies, Chicano/a Studies, Sociology, and Education. I pray that the higher path be in front of me, and that it all falls into place. I ask for clarity and direction.

Before I felt like the world was crushing me,

now I feel like this:

blessed be.

What now?

It has been about two months and I still forget that I have been able to accomplish my goal of getting my Masters from Harvard, and fundraise 50k dollars.

It has most definitely been a journey of restless work, grouped with passion, faith, and people power. I’ve proved many people wrong, and have impressed some others, but what matters most to me is that I showed myself that I can do anything, that I created this place in my life, where I currently stand.

I ask myself WHAT NOW, and many days I have no clue where to go, I am letting myself be guided by the same power that has carried me through the fight.

I am in California, ready to being a PhD. Ready to change the world with others, after proving to myself that I could change my world first.

For the year I will be:

-Applying to various PhD programs, fellowships, scholarships, ect… 

-Working for something amazing (not sure what, and I am up for hire) 

-Taking care of my little sister, guiding her as her “guardian” my goal is to provide the stability I wish I had when I was trying to become someone in life. 

-Becoming a better me, for myself, and those that surround me.

Always seeking the light…

So far I have done amazing things like: Took an incredible trip to Souther Mexico, (Yucatan, Cancun, Mexico City, Puebla).

I met an amazing group of students who I mentor from UC Merced at the Harvard Latino Leadership Initiative, and met the first Mexican-American astronaut, his story is amazing!

I met Assembly member Gil Cedillo who is the senator who wrote and fought for the signing of the California Dream Act, he is an inspiring leader, and a humble person with a beautiful heart.

I went to a camp with a bunch of amazing peers who are children, grandchildren of black panthers, peace movement builders, and who still fight for dignity of themselves and many others.

Tengo paciencia…

I made it, si se pudo!

 

 

(I received the Dean’s Marshall Award from my program, and was honored with a medal from Harvard Graduate School of Education, I was also asked to hold the Masters of Education flag and lead the class during the graduation ceremonies)

I want to say that I am so grateful for all the people who have crossed my path, for my family that allowed me to walk on my own path, and for the blessings God has always given me.

I am thankful that I have a community that supports me and loves me enough to sell food at church, make art, and fundraise in all sorts of ways so that someone from our barrio can graduate from Harvard, despite living with out papeles all of my life I know that if you are determined to go after your dreams you can achieve it.

I dedicate this degree to

-All the people struggling to survive in the shadows of political oppression.

-Students who fight for their education and opportunities.

-My birth and adopted families.

-My Comadres.

-My future generations. 

Sin papeles o con papeles yo voy a  lograr mis sueños.

Nunca dejare que una persona o una ley me haga sentir menos, por no tener documentos, por ser de familia humilde, o por tener piel morena.

Gracias a Dios por mi comunidad y por las ganas que me dio de vivir, estudiar, y luchar.

Gracias a las tantas personas que me hicieron parte de sus familias y me abrieron los brazos cuando necesitaba amor.

Si Se Puede, Si se pudo, y si se podrá!

 

 

 

 

3.4.11

Today I had a nightmare.

Then I woke up, and realized that this had already happened.

In my dream I lived with my sister and mother. It was nighttime, my mother was asleep and I was cleaning my room. I heard my sister say there were cops outside. I quickly looked out the window and there were about five cop cars and a helicopter, with about ten officers walking around our house. There was also a woman there talking with them.

In my dream I was a citizen and I quickly went outside to ask them what they were doing there.

They told me they were there to arrest my mother.

I cannot remember most of it, but I vaguely remember a brown woman in my dream telling me that they were sorry that they were not doing it by choice. But that it was “their job.”

They came in the house and searched everything, making a mess of all our belongings.

I was strong in my dream, but when I woke up, just like when I was a child I wanted to run to my mom and tell her that I had a bad dream, but I couldn’t.

Because I realized that she was in Mexico and that this had already happened.

I can’t stop thinking about it.

I can’t stop thinking that my mom cannot enter the US for ten years, and that she will not be with me when I graduate from Harvard, and even typing this out hurts so much.

I need to leave for class in 5minutes.

I don’t think I can get it together in that amount of time, but I will try.

Te extraño mama.

 

View my video, and donate!

I am only $7,000 away from completing my Masters degree at Harvard.  I’m scheduled to graduate in May, 2011 and I need to pay my outstanding balance now.  Your $10, $20, $100 tax-deductible donation will make a difference.  Si se puede!

Please Click on the  Donate button above, and thank you for your support.

Have you ever been so close to a goal, but so far at the same time?
 
This is exactly how I feel…
 
I am one semester away from graduating with my Masters degree in Education from Harvard.  Truth is, I am $7,000 away…  To some, that might not seem like a huge amount. However, to someone like me, it is a huge amount of money.  I have tried my very hardest to reach as many people as I can, and have fundraised like crazy!  I need your help now.  I am out of ideas about how to raise the amount I need to be able to graduate in May with the rest of my class and continue to pursue my dreams.
 
What would you do in this situation?
 
At Harvard, I am learning how to start my own school, run a non-profit, become a social entrepreneur, and be innovative in my goals.  Whatever I do, I know it has to involve social change, justice, and community empowerment. 
 
I have received wonderful opportunities, that I will forever be grateful for.  I feel a tremendous responsibilty to tell the stories of students like me. 
I am working on articles that are going to be published in the Harvard Journal of Hispanic Policy, and the Harvard Education Review. I want people to try to understand what it is like to be in my situation, and to understand about the struggles being faced by the people in Arizona, and all over this country. I especially want to tell the story of the children who are separated from their parents and sometimes left alone in this country because of community and worksite raids by ICE.  I want people to know that we have something to contribute to this country.
 
I want to make it through, break this concrete, break through the glass-celing, the bars, the barbed wire, and obstacles in my way…Liberation, justice, and dignity  is what I thirst for.

 

Hard times…

In life we go through tough Journeys.

I am back in Boston from break in Arizona, and ready to do work.

I pray that my mother and father may heal, as this month has been EXTREMELY tough for my family, due to more seperations, illnesses and overall trials. These things have made it very hard for me to give my studies the attention they require. Leaving my with more work than I can handle. So my prayer is to be diligent, and thoughful in my journey.

Tomorrow I start a winter class… it’s called “Leadership of High-Performaing Charter Schools” cool huh…

Thank you to all the spirits who have enriched my life, blessed my paths, and held my hand through it all.

Last fun picture of my mom, sister, and I. When we were together.